"Luckiest Boy in America" Medal - Award
Police Sergeant: The blond?
Policeman #1: Some young boy is having sex with Ms. Stephenson?
Policeman #1: Nice.
Police Sergeant: Nice.
Kyle: What? No, you don't understand...
Policeman #1: You sure they've had sex?
Policeman #2: Has she performed oral sex on him?
Kyle: I think so.
Policeman #2: Nice.
Policeman #1: Nice!
Policeman #2: [whispers] Nicccce.
Police Sergeant: So, wait. What's the crime?
Policeman #1: The crime is she isn't doing it with me.
Kyle: Hey! He's totally underage. She's taking advantage of him!
Police Sergeant: You're right. We're sorry. This is serious. We need to track this student down and
Police Sergeant: give him his "Luckiest Boy in America" medal right away.
[cops laugh heartily]